What is a mum meant to do? I feel guilty for not working when I am playing with Baby Bear. I feel guilty for not playing with Baby Bear when I am on my laptop. I feel guilty for thinking about going back to full time work, I feel guilty for thinking I shouldn’t. And recently I spend so much of the time when Baby bear is sleeping thinking about these conundrums that I don’t get the washing up done. And now, to top it all off, I feel guilty for not being an astronaut or an extreme rock climber. Apparently, I should not sit on a park bench with Baby Bear in her pram. It is wrong to ‘just’ be a mum and live up to my stereotype. I know this because VW have had an advert recently banned by advertising standards for showing a woman as passive and not adventurous enough. Or something like that! Philadelphia meanwhile had their advert banned because it displayed men as being incompetent at parenthood having temporarily left their babies on a food conveyor belt. They were distracted by the wonderful taste of the exceptional cream cheese. I imagine that Philadelphia would have also had the advert banned if they showed women placing their children on the conveyor belts. So basically, any person being featured in any kind of parental way may be offended. I actually think the conveyor belt idea is a good one. Place child on conveyor belt, smile and pat them every 60 seconds as they come around, meanwhile enjoy your food. A bit like a reverse sushi restaurant. Great idea.

Back in the real world (whatever that is) and my baby brain is just that; it very much exists. The other day I put my plate of food in the fridge rather than the microwave to warm up. It took me a while to work out why I could not find the express cook power button on the door when I closed it. I worry about myself. It is a wonder I am not trying to type this blog on the TV.

I have taken to lying flat on my back more often during the day. It means that just for a few seconds my tummy feels flat. And because of the joys of having had my abdominal muscles torn apart I can’t sit up to see my stretch marks which really is fantastic. So, if I lie down flat and don’t move I kind of feel ok! On this topic I am still thinking about the 10kg I need to lose. Since my last blog the power of thought enabled me to lost 0.4 kgs then put on 1.2 kgs then lose 1.6 kg the put on 0.9 kg. The upshot is that after two weeks of very determined thinking I have lost minus 0.1 kgs. I have not eaten any macaroni cheese meals but unfortunately, I have eaten a fair amount of cake due to a number of social visits. I have been breathing in on the scales to compensate but that doesn’t seem to work. More action may need to be taken. I did do a 30 second plank this morning followed by 6 press ups and 10 triceps dips. I then did 7 and a half squats whilst holding Baby Bear. I didn’t make it to 10 because Baby Bear was sick on the 7th. Note to self, do not attempt wholesome and engaging exercise with your baby after she has just eaten. Good mum fail. Yesterday I had sick on my face without even realising until an hour after Baby Bear had gone to bed. I have become immune to it. Last week I went to the supermarket with my nursing bra not done up. I took me until I got to the cold meat aisle before I realised. Meeting friends for lunch the other week I managed to discreetly feed Baby Bear at the table. Feed finished and I returned Baby Bear to an upright position to pat her back pretending that I do that for a full twenty minutes after each and every feed. I then look down to see that my right nipple was poking out of my nursing top and had been for the whole time I was tucking in to my main course. On the plus side I have not blocked any drains recently; things are looking up.

J has been very good at supporting my #weightloss challenge by not buying me any macaroni cheese however he has now also offered to take £100 back off me for every kg that I put back on. We are working on his motivational techniques.