Since #BabyBear was born at the end of May I have been asked, with about the same regularity and frequency of my macaroni cheese eating, whether I have been to ‘a group’. I have been eating a lot of macaroni cheese. Until last week my reply was always lengthy and somewhat sheepish; trying to think up different reasons as to why I had not been to ‘a group’. Feeling like I should put myself on the naughty step for being such an awful mum for not having yet taken #BabyBear. With so many options on offer: Baby Massage, Baby Yoga, Baby Music, Baby Story Time, Baby Gym, Baby this group does not have an actual name but lets just meet up for coffee and call it a group – how had I not yet been to one? Because having a baby doesn’t automatically mean that I want to spend time with other babies. Having a baby does not automatically mean that I want to spend time with other mum’s and make small talk about poo and sick and sleeping habits.

But eventually the relentless questioning, the words of ‘advice’ from more experienced mum’s that I should really go to ‘a group’ finally cracked my tough exterior. So, I psyched myself up to go to a Baby Nursery Rhyme group at the local library. Baby Bear was fine as long as she had something to stick in her mouth and chew on. She was not anxious or worried in the slightest. Even the rain did not stop us. Walking there in the rain allowed us to try out the rain cover. How empowered and amazing am I as a mum. Not letting the rain stop us. Just taking it in our stride. We were running late, obvs, and then became even more late due to the footpath that we were heading along that would deliver us to the library only a few minutes late was closed. And there was no sign at the start of the footpath so we had to turn round and take a diversion. I was still not going to be beaten. I even broke in to a job. Baby Bear was loving it. I on the other hand was struggling. I had not run since March 2018. We finally made it. I saw through the window that the group was in full swing. I could tell that incy wincy spider was the rhyme of choice. That’s ok, I thought. I know that one. I could see that there were no seats free. We were now 10 minutes late for a 30 minute session so I turned round to leave. But I thought, no that is not going to stop me – the questioners and advisers shouting to me. We WILL go to a group. I go in to the library and it is like the airport car park when you are running late. There was no space anywhere to park the buggy. I was defeated. I left the library walking the long way around to avoid walking past the window again.