So, we reach week 2 in my weekly blog world and week 14 of my pregnant world. In an ode to Bridget Jones my week in numbers are as follows:

Alcohol units: 0.0001
Calories: 0 – they don’t count in pregnancy surely?
Number of slices of bread eaten: Approx. 77
Number of times I have urinated: 999 – or feels like
Number of times I have been sick: 19 – this is good, previous week single day record was 11.
Number of times I have been sick and managed not to wee myself at the same time: 2 – this is not so good.

On Saturday at the party I went to; I surpassed myself and managed to stay until 10pm. Massively impressed though the next night I did go to bed at 7.47pm. The frustrating thing about this being really tired and getting in to bed early thing is that once in bed sleep then becomes seemingly impossible, but my husband reassuringly told me after he did some research that no matter how much sleep I do or don’t get I will still feel fatigued all of the time anyway. He is always ready and waiting with useful facts. I was not sure whether to rejoice in this news or cry. I cried.

Tiredness the continued theme as is my growing belly. It may be 90% bread at this point but it is growing all the same. I have had to, begrudgingly, buy maternity clothes, s**t is getting real. Apparently starting to show can also be quite a thrill. Nope just overly annoying. Of the 20 pairs of jeans that I own (I know that is too many but, in my defence, I continuously wear the same pair all of the time) I can fit in to none.

Baby Bear is now apparently the size of a lemon and can urinate. I do not need more urine floating around in my body, I am creating more than enough myself. It is ridiculous. Sometimes it only takes me the time to get back to my bed at night from the bathroom before I need to go again. The bathroom is approximately 2.5 metres from my bedroom door. It is enough to make me want to cry…..again. I don’t understand how this is even possible. According to an expectant mum’s lovely fluffy website I should now be taking the time to plan, daydream and enjoy this amazing time. Nope, none of that yet. Still not amazing. Still not enjoyable.

In other news we are being blessed by the annual Christmas advert jostling for number one spot. Everyone is raving about the John Lewis advert; my opinion? Some faces are meant for the radio, or vinyl. Iceland, the frozen food outlet not the frozen country, pulled a master stroke by commissioning a Greenpeace produced advert that they surely knew would be banned due to its political nature. Great move, it has now been watched by millions due to the powers of social media. Iceland are obviously the greenest supermarket out there…or are they? Lovely, cute cartoon though.

Unicorn Brexit saga continues whilst those big names who wanted Unicorn Brexit are running to the hills. I have a suggestion, let them all run, send them to the jungle, make them eat bugs and call it entertainment. Move this whole thing away from our politicians and hand it over to experts who actually know what they are doing.

Back home and my husband, J, has introduced a new addition to our family. Often couples will buy a dog or cat or other pet to ease themselves in to the notion of increased responsibility. J, has with great care and love brought a fern in to our home. Quite literally. He has named his fern Jeff. Jeff comes in at night time when it is too cold and will be put outside for a little play during the day. J speaks to Jeff, checks he is ok. I think J loves Jeff. J thinks that if we can keep a fern alive, we might be able to keep a baby alive.

In rugby news England did get the whitewash over the weekend but Japan did more than blossom during the first half of the men’s game and gave all who care a little fright. I played for England, I am English but I would have loved it if Japan won that game! In the women’s game England nudged past Canada and take on Ireland this weekend at Twickenham after the men face an Australian team currently ravaged by a sickness bug. The Black Ferns lost to France in France in what was an Epic test match in front of a crowd of over 17,000. Less than 4000 watched our Red Roses but apparently that was a record for a stand-alone International ticketed women’s game over here so it’s all good. The rugby world also said goodbye to two incredible servants of the game: Linda Itunu (3-time World Cup winner) and Fiao’o Faamausili (4-time World Cup winner). Not that you would know it in our rugby press because it’s all about some guy called Owen Farrell at the moment. Ooh and Wayne Barnes.

Next week Baby Bear will be the size of an apple. Iceland sell packs of Gala apples nicely packaged up in plastic bags. Bags that according to their website cannot be recycled.